NZ Ride - The Riders in Focus

Robbie ( Cricket) , Always busy working. Rides like someone stuck a bunger up his arse and he's trying to blow it out by riding fast. Sometimes the results are pretty spectacular. Always serious unless he has told a joke at which time he proceeds to crack himself up. He is the only point rider that I have ever seen who appears to be trying to lose the rest of the group. It was a bit like greyhound racing where robbie was the rabbit.

In all seriousness, he ran an incredibly well organised ride. He has an amazing sense of direction. I suspect he may have a GPS hardwired to his brain.

Steve ( Sweep ), Never falls off. Always ready to help out. Loves a bit of a race with the back markers. Clearly likes a bit of young lamb on the side.

Dave (ADD), Camera man extraordinaire. Rides like the music is about to stop and he hasn't found a chair yet. Saves himself from near disaster more often than Bear Grills. If enthusiasm was the only thing you need to ride a bike then Dave would be a world champion. His constant high energy state can encourage any rider to have a race with him, not that any of us had much of a chance of keeping up with the slippery prick. 

Says he put on 8 kilo's on his last trip and cant understand why. Incidentally in every photo I have of him he was eating something.

Fred (Jerry can ), the support vehicle driver. Knows much more about Australia than the Australians. A fountain of knowledge on any subject. Always ready to help out everyone. One of the worlds true gentlemen.

Stuart ( tony's other half), At 6'3" made his poxy hire bike look like a child's toy. He could get it going though, and was always in the mix if there was a race on. Deserves a medal for sleeping with Tony the snore miller for 6 nights.

Tony ( the snore miller ), Snores so loud you would swear he was making furniture in his room. Says he has been married 43 years. His wife obviously lives in another house. At 63 years old the crusty old bugger rides like he is 20. He never seems to run out of puff and is always up for a bit of a race. He has a penchant for speech making and he is pretty good at it too. I think he might be the CEO of KTM. He was very interested in Rob's KTM underwear?

Steve ( racer boy ), Spent the whole trip riding around egging on anyone and everyone for a race. It was a 6 day special test for steve. His specialty was buzzing around Robbie's back wheel until he made hime fall off. He pulled it off many times each day. Ridiculously fast on open fire trail. His pox bucket hire bike will never be the same again. If I were robbie I would move it on real quick.

Steve ( BIG Steve ), A gentle giant who for my money was the most talented rider on the trip. He rode the big XR like he was sitting in an arm chair. He made everything look easy and effortless. He was seen sitting on top of one mountain pass watching a youtube movie of the very ride he was on while waiting for everyone to catch up with him.

Clearly needs bluetooth hands free fitted to his bike so he can take care of business while he is riding

Grant ( BIG unit ), larger then life, this man kept us all entertained through the trip. Has an amazing ability to use endless combinations of "F" and "C" bombs in a sentence but still sound eloquent and intelligent. The Aussies all wanted to take him home with them to run as the next prime minister. He could peddle his KTM 520 to devastating effect, although he only had narrow windows of speed before he needed to take a break and sit down for a rest. 

He had the best crash of the trip. It probably would have put a mere mortal in hospital, but Grant just brushed himself off and kept riding. And holy shit he can ride.

Rob (pretty boy), He rides like he dresses. Very neat and tidy. 

Has every item of kit the KTM makes worldwide and carries or wears it all when riding. Right down to the KTM underwear which Tony says you cant buy in Australiasia. Tony was caught taking photos of his arse crack. Im not sure what that was about. 
Rob could have copped a lot of criticism for pulling out of the ride with an unconfirmed injury, however when he kept following us in his magnificent Toyota LX40, all was forgiven. This guy is a gear freak, and has very good toys. Its fair to say we all want his life.

Clive ( Fastest farmer in NZ ), this guy was a constant barrel of laughs. Never stopped smiling and smacking the closest person on the back. Always in the mix on the KTM 350. Every item of clothing was scavenged from his kids cast offs.  
We were all horrified when his bike wouldn't start late on the 6th day. It looked like his ride was over with Robbie on the phone calling in the tow truck. Im pretty sure we all would have stayed with him in protest. Luckily a couple of the boys got the KTM going again. It just wouldn't have been right to finish without him. What a funny bastard and a top bloke.

Greg ( crash test dummy), how the hell did he survive the trip. The obstinate bugger just kept on getting up again and again and again. It was the gutsiest ride I have ever seen. What he clearly lacked in talent or ability, he more than made up for in true grit.

Not satisfied with being the slowest rider, he made sure he was the slowest at everything he did. In fact that was his real skill. Incredibly capable at fucking around constantly. The funny thing was, you couldn't actually get cranky with him. It was a great laugh.

I nearly ran him over twice. I fairly sure I would have torn his head off once if he hadn't been wearing a neck brace. I would like to make it clear that I didn't do it on purpose.

On day 6 when Robbie invited a bunch of cockheads to ride with us for the day, everyone was pissed off except greg. He was finally faster then someone.

Mike ( Lamb Hunter ), as a dirt bike rider I make a good Dairy farmer. 5 flat tyres and numerous crashes ( nearly all on flat ground ). Hated the hire bike with a passion but I didnt let it spoil the ride for me. I was pretty shocked at how technically difficult and relentless the riding was. If I hadnt spent the last 3 months riding my berg I would have been up shit creek.

What I enjoyed the most was the great company. You could not ask for a better bunch of blokes to spend a week with. They made the trip. I would definitely come and do it all again. Next time I would bring my own bike. The Kiwi's were definitely more at home on their own rides. The Aussies gave them a run for their money though.